It should be easy, right? Just slap
a name on them and move on? Oh, my sweet summer child. If only.
See, naming a character is like
naming your kid—except worse, because nobody is going to complain if your kid
and their cousin both end up being named Liam. But if your main villain
is named Liam and you accidentally give the quirky coffee shop owner in book
three the same name? Cue the existential crisis.
Let’s walk through the madness.
The
Overthinking Spiral of Doom
You start writing, and there’s that
moment: your brand-new character walks onto the page, full of potential. All
they need is a name. A simple name. Something strong, something fitting,
something—
Oh no.
Nothing sounds right. This one is
too complicated. That one is too simple. This one reminds you of your
third-grade math teacher, and that one was the name of your childhood hamster.
There are rules. There are expectations. There are subconscious associations.
You tell yourself, "Just
pick something normal!" But then you land on Joe.
Joe.
JOE?
No.
You can’t just name your character
Joe. It feels wrong. It feels incomplete. It feels like you’ve given up on
life. (Apologies to all the Joes out there. It’s not you; it’s me.)
So you go down a rabbit hole of baby
name websites, historical archives, and—if you're me—occasionally yelling, “What’s
a good villain name that doesn’t sound like I made it up at 3 AM?!”
The
Unexpected Betrayal of Past You
So let’s say you finally name the
character. You love it. It’s perfect. You’re a genius. You pat yourself on the
back and move on.
Fast-forward six books later. You’re
deep into the plot, things are coming together beautifully, and then—you have a
horrible realization.
You’ve used this name before.
Not just somewhere—oh no.
You’ve used it in book one.
And not for just any character.
For a completely different person
with a completely different vibe.
So now you have two options:
- Go back and rename one of them (which will absolutely
break your soul, because now you can’t imagine them as anything else).
- Pretend it was a fun little Easter egg and hope nobody
notices.
(Spoiler: they will notice. They
always notice.)
The
‘Oh No, This Name Is Too Cool for a Side Character’ Dilemma
Then, of course, there’s the
opposite problem. Sometimes you throw a name at a minor character, thinking
they’ll just be in one scene. No big deal. Whatever. And then—BAM.
They take over.
They demand a backstory. They demand
a subplot. They have main character energy and suddenly, they’re more
interesting than your actual protagonist.
And now you’ve wasted a perfectly
good name on someone you originally introduced as “Bartender #2.”
Final
Thoughts (and a Warning)
If you ever see an author staring
blankly into the distance with dead eyes, don’t ask them if they’re okay.
They’re probably just trying to name a character.
And if you’re writing a series, KEEP
A LIST OF YOUR CHARACTER NAMES. (I have learned this the hard way. Multiple
times.)
Otherwise, you’ll be halfway through
your grand finale before you realize your noble hero’s long-lost father has the
same name as the guy who ran the bakery in book two.
And at that point?
Just roll with it.
(Or make them long-lost twins.
Whatever works.)
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