When Your New Phone Feels Like a Mystery Novel Gone Wrong

There I was, minding my own business, when fate decided to play a cruel joke. I dropped my phone. Not from a rooftop, not into a pond, not even in one of those heart-stopping toilet disasters. Nope. It just slipped from my hand like it was auditioning for a role in a soap opera. Dramatic fall. Shattered screen. Exit stage left.

So, I did what any reasonable person would do—I got a new one. Same brand, just the next model up. Easy peasy, right? Wrong. Wrong in the way a “surprise” villain shows up in chapter twenty-seven of a cozy mystery even though he hasn’t been in the book since chapter two.

Apparently, in the five years since I last upgraded (yes, five years—I like to think of myself as loyal, not outdated), phones have learned how to argue with their owners. This new contraption asks me every five minutes if I “really meant to do that.” Why yes, Phone Overlord, I did mean to open my email. I’ve been opening my email since the dawn of Gmail, and I don’t need your judgment.

And then there’s the Cloud. Oh, the Cloud. I don’t want to back up my grocery list to some celestial filing cabinet. But my phone thinks everything is important enough to live forever in its heavenly server dimension. I try to save a photo of my dog, Blueberry, wearing a bowtie, and suddenly it’s like the CIA is involved. “Are you sure? Would you like to store this in seventeen different places? Shall we notify three of your closest relatives?”

Change, my friends, can be wonderful. Change can be magical. Change can also be like trying to read a cozy mystery where the cat solves the crime before the detective even gets to the second cup of tea. It’s disorienting.

Do I miss my old phone? Absolutely. It did what I wanted when I wanted it. No drama. No sass. It was like a reliable sidekick in a mystery novel—quiet, efficient, and there for the tea breaks.

This new one? It feels like a suspect. Always watching me. Always asking questions. Always hiding something in the Cloud.

Maybe in a year I’ll be one of those people who gushes about their amazing phone and how it makes life so much easier. Or maybe I’ll just figure out how to keep it from asking me for permission to breathe. Until then, if you see me staring at my screen like I’m trying to crack a secret code… it’s because I am.

Comments

The Absolute Madness of Naming Characters

Let’s talk about one of the most ridiculous struggles of writing a book. No, I’m not talking about the part where you stare at the blinking cursor like it personally insulted your ancestors. I’m talking about naming characters. It should be easy, right? Just slap a name on them and move on? Oh, my sweet summer child. If only. See, naming a character is like naming your kid—except worse, because nobody is going to complain if your kid and their cousin both end up being named Liam. But if your main villain is named Liam and you accidentally give the quirky coffee shop owner in book three the same name? Cue the existential crisis. Let’s walk through the madness. The Overthinking Spiral of Doom You start writing, and there’s that moment: your brand-new character walks onto the page, full of potential. All they need is a name. A simple name. Something strong, something fitting, something— Oh no. Nothing sounds right. This one is too complicated. That one is too simple. ...

DIY Audiobook. A bit of equipment, good advice and lots of patience

I want to create an Audiobook - should I? Ever since the release of book one in the "Cannabis Preacher" series of thrillers, that question has been on my mind. The "Cannabis Preacher" books were quite long. To produce an audiobook from each of the four, including voice actors and audio production with a turn key service, I was looking at around $15,000 per book. Financially, that was a non-starter for me at the time. That amount represented a LOT of books and audiobooks to sell to recover the investment, and I shelved my plan again. With the popularity of the "Magical Papillon" cozy mystery series, I found myself coming back to the growing popularity of audiobooks. I knew that audiobooks could reach a wider audience and catered to busy readers who prefer listening while multitasking. The idea of bringing my characters to life through narration excited me, as it offered a new dimension to my storytelling. The cozy mysteries were only 60-65,000...

Stories Are Everywhere: The Writer’s Endless Inspiration

As a writer, one of the most common questions I’m asked is, “How do you come up with your stories?” It’s a question that often makes me smile because the answer is as simple as it is profound: stories are everywhere. Inspiration doesn’t always strike in grand, dramatic moments. More often than not, it emerges quietly, weaving its way into the fabric of everyday life. Conversations with friends, the sights and sounds of a bustling city, or even the stillness of a room can spark the seed of an idea. Writers aren’t just storytellers; we’re observers, collecting fragments of life and spinning them into tales. Let me share a recent example of how a simple evening turned into the genesis of a new story idea. Over two perfectly crafted negronis, I was discussing the schedule for an upcoming event with a friend. Their house, a treasure trove of artwork, surrounded us. Every piece of art seemed to hum with a story of its own. Midway through the second drink, I remarked, “One day, someb...

Thinkingdog Publishing

Search This Blog