No, I’m Not Talking to You—I’m Rehearsing Dialogue!

So - here we are....

It’s a peaceful afternoon. Birds are chirping. The dog is asleep. A mug of coffee cools beside my keyboard. I’m sitting at my desk, deeply focused on crafting the next scene in my cozy mystery novel. My characters are in the middle of a heated debate—someone has been murdered, after all—and things are getting dramatic.

Suddenly, my husband peeks into the room and says, “Sorry, did you say something?”

Oh no, dear. I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to myself. Loudly. With feeling. And perhaps a bit of a British accent.

This, my friends, is where the writerly madness truly shines.

Now before anyone calls for a wellness check, allow me to explain. I’m not losing my marbles (though I admit they do rattle suspiciously from time to time). I’m just... rehearsing.

Because when you write cozy mysteries filled with grumpy detectives, nosy neighbors, flustered suspects, and talking Papillon dogs (yes, Pixie has opinions and she’s not afraid to share them), you don’t just write the dialogue. You live it.

Yes, I act it out.

Alone.

In my office.

And sometimes in public.

Let’s just say that mouthing character conversations while walking the dog is an excellent way to guarantee six feet of personal space. People tend to cross the street when they see you gesturing wildly and muttering, “You’ll never get away with this, you charming fraud!” to absolutely no one.

But here’s the thing: this is part of the job. I need to make sure that sarcastic sidekick lands her punchline. That the detective’s grumble has just the right amount of gravel. That the villain sounds villainous but still maybe worth redeeming. It’s all about rhythm and tone and timing—and the best way to know if dialogue works is to say it out loud.

So if you ever see me pacing the sidewalk, flapping my hands like an angry librarian while whispering about poison in the pudding... just know I’m not unwell. I’m just on deadline.

Writers are actors, directors, and voiceover artists—all rolled into one, minus the budget and with a lot more coffee.

And yes, I talk to myself.

Constantly.

But the good news? I always agree with me. Mostly.

So the next time someone catches you chatting to yourself mid-grocery store run, just straighten your spine, nod sagely, and say, “Dialogue check. It’s a writer thing.”

They won’t understand. But your characters will.

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