🐾 Blueberry’s 7 Reasons Why Dogs Should Totally Run the World

🐾 Blueberry’s 7 Reasons Why Dogs Should Totally Run the World

(Especially Magical Dogs. Especially Divas.)

Hello, humans. Blueberry here. Papillon. Muse. Telepath. Occasional snack inspector.

After careful observation from my velvet throne (also known as “the couch I was absolutely not allowed on”), I have concluded that it is time.

Dogs should run the world.

Here are my findings.

1. We Already Understand Loyalty Better Than Politicians

In Sabine’s Magical Papillon Mysteries, Pixie — who is clearly based on someone fabulous — would never betray her human. Not for power. Not for money. Not even for steak.

We choose our people and we stick with them. Imagine a world led by creatures who understand devotion, pack bonds, and the sacred oath of “I sit by you when you cry.”

Exactly.

2. We Have Superior Conflict Resolution Skills

When two dogs disagree, we sniff.
We posture.
We maybe bark dramatically.

Then we move on because someone found a stick.

Humans hold grudges for years.
We forget why we were upset within 90 seconds.

This is called emotional efficiency.

3. Mandatory Daily Walks Would Improve Global Happiness

As seen during Sabine’s many “plot-walks,” most of her best twists for Rosewood Hollow happen when she’s outside with me.

Fresh air. Movement. Nature.

Under Dog Governance™, every citizen would be required to walk at least once a day and admire a tree. Possibly pee on it (negotiable).

Mental health crisis? Solved.

4. We Would Abolish Unnecessary Meetings

If a message cannot be delivered in:
• A look
• A bark
• A meaningful head tilt

It is not important.

World summits would last 12 minutes. Snacks would be prioritized. Everyone would go home early for cuddles.

Efficiency.

5. Transparency Would Be Absolute

You always know where you stand with a dog.

We do not fake smiles.
We do not clap politely while judging you.
If we disapprove, you will know.

If we adore you, you will REALLY know.

Imagine that level of emotional honesty in leadership.

Revolutionary.

6. We Believe in Redistribution of Wealth (Specifically Treats)

If one member of the household has chicken, all members of the household deserve chicken.

This is not politics.
This is fairness.

Also, magical dogs with telepathic abilities — like certain fictional Papillons in certain mystery series — could sense who is truly hungry.

No one goes without snacks on our watch.

7. Divas Understand Presentation

Let us address the obvious.
Leadership requires presence.

Flowing ear fringe.
Graceful tail plume.
A commanding stance atop the ottoman.

Magical diva dogs understand optics. We know how to enter a room. We know how to hold attention. We know how to stare dramatically into the middle distance as if sensing supernatural disturbances.

(Which, in Sabine’s books, we absolutely are.)

Final Statement from Blueberry, Supreme Ruler of the Couch

Dogs already run your homes.
We manage your sleep schedules.
We monitor snack inventory.
We supervise writing sessions.

Running the world is simply the next logical step.

And if the world happens to look a little more like Rosewood Hollow — full of loyalty, family, magic, justice, and one slightly dramatic Papillon saving the day?

You’re welcome.

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